So Merriam-Webster dictionary defines kick as:
1a : to strike out with the foot or feet
b : to make a kick in football
b : to protest strenuously or urgently : express grave discontent
Here is a good example of the type of kick I am thinking of:
Similarly, punch is defined as:
2a : to strike with a forward thrust especially of the fist
b : to drive or push forcibly by or as if by a punch
c : to hit (a ball) with less than a full swing
Again, corresponding image of the punch I am thinking of:
Obviously that is the baby on the right and my uterus on the left. Critter:1 Uterus:0
Now obviously, there are some differences here. One is done with the foot, the other with the hand/fist. I would imagine kicks are more powerful than punches but I think that may also be relative to who is doing the beating.
However, both are the verb forms of their respective words, and both are physical. Both are usually, and correctly in this instance, associated with force. Yes, I am being kicked and punched on a daily basis. By something that only weighs approximately 2 pounds. Thankfully it doesn't hurt, at this point. Talk to me when it's jabbing a foot or arm under my rib during one of their play time sessions. Or during labor.
I get that the baby jiving around in there is a good thing; it means that they are A) alive! B) healthy C) growing and D) a future athlete. We're right in the middle of the 4 week period where the baby is most active-little fish, big pond sort of situation going on here. Between weeks 24-28 is that period of high activity and Critter is taking full advantage of it.
I'm ok with Critter flipping and stretching around. I'm ok with them movin', shakin', and getting ready for the outside world. What I'm not ok with, is that their favorite time to do this has been at 4 AM the last few nights. For 30-45 minutes. Kid. You. Not. Critter is most active first thing in the morning, right before bed, and at 4 AM. And after eating chocolate. Not sweets in general, just chocolate. It's pretty hilarious actually. I'm sure they are moving around all through the night as babies are typically more active when we mamas are at rest. Since I'm moving almost all day, Critter is lulled to sleep most of the day by me just being active. So when I'm at rest, they are like a tumbler at the circus! I imagine something like this:
This is what I feel like I look like first thing in the morning after a marathon night of kicks and jabs by my new little beloved (said sarcastically, ironically, and with some disdain):
I know some preggos who LOVE feeling their baby moving around. Once again, this is an area where I differ. I don't hate it but I'm not going to run up to you and say ooooh, feel this! It was actually one of the areas in which I was most nervous about getting pregnant. I hated feeling my food process through my belly so who knew how I was going to take another, live human being (an alien or parasite as some may call it) having independent movement and control INSIDE me start to do their own thing?!?! The first flutters did feel like gas bubbles; not too distinctive of baby movement but questionable. Now the first major movement where I'm sure Critter was doing a big somersault fliperoo? Oh. My. Gosh. I seriously almost vomited. Partly because it caught me by surprise. But mainly because I felt and saw it at the same time and my belly moved. Actually, physically moved. I didn't like it when other people made me feel their bellies when they were preggo and the baby moved so I really wasn't having it to begin with. Now, as time has gone on, it's not so bad.
And to those crazies out there who are shows like I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, you have GOT to be on some sort of drugs to think that you were feeling gas bubbles (while you're getting the crap kicked out of your insides) and just having a really hard time losing that weight or processing your food. Are. You. Kidding. Me????? I always laughed at shows like that because I thought, how can you not know? Now. Now I really think they need to be evaluated by a mental health professional. And I'm sure my opinion of them is only going to get worse after I actually have to go through the labor process myself. Ok, rant over.
Poor Matt, his hands are so big and warm I swear to you that as soon as he touches us, he soothes the baby to sleep. I'm really hopeful that this will translate well for when Critter is on the outside world. He just keeps chuckling the next day when I tell him what time and how long the little monster moved in the night to keep me awake. He also jokes that the baby is starting to condition me for no sleep. And in the same breath he says he's really not looking forward to me being sleep deprived for those first few weeks? Months? Years? Indefinite period of time.
All I'm saying is that at the rate this kid is going, they better get a scholarship to the school of their choice in some kind of sport that involves kicking, punching, and tomfoolery in general.
