SPRIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!

So the weather today WAS NOT reflective of what a big day was today.  It's the first day of SPRING!!!! Sunshine? Nope. Warm temps? Nadda. Flowers blooming? Not a chance.  Today was rainy and cold and yuck. But there is hope; because it's SPRING!!! Officially!! Yay! So in celebration of that fact, here is my favorite springy song from one of my favorite musicals.  The first part of the video is very reflective of what I felt like winter was. And then, the clouds part, the sun shines, and the birds chirp (one of my absolute favorite aspects of spring!!).  Without further adieu, "Spring, Spring, Spring"  from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  Which, if you haven't seen, you should. It's awesome.

Epiphany

So I had an epiphany the other day.  I know!! That means I have a brain and think about things. I can hardly believe it myself at times.  Now, I know you're going to laugh at my brilliant moment of thought. Picture this:

I'm in BodyFlow last Friday.  For those who don't know what that is, it is a class at the gym that is a combination of yoga, tai-chi, and Pilates-it's a good stretchy class. Anyway, at the end of every class there is about 10 minutes of relaxation and meditation.  It's pretty awesome-you get all stretched out then you just chill for a bit. A big part of this time is to let your thoughts kind of float around-in one side out the other. You're not supposed to think about what you've got going on or dwell on things.  Good luck on that one! I can turn my brain onto a low setting but completely off is not possible. A lot of the time I use this time to pray and ask the Lord what he has for me. So last Friday I'm sitting there, relaxed, maybe some would call it zen? I don't know but I'm feeling pretty good.  When it hits me.

I am going to be someone's mother.

Now I've known this for a while, I theory. Each "milestone" of the pregnancy has only proven to me that there is indeed a small person being created within.  First ultrasound-yup, a little bean there. First time hearing the heartbeat-160 beats of holy crap.  20 week ultrasound-there really is something in there! AND IT MOVES!! That one has been proven may times over by the whalloping my uterus has been getting lately. But for some reason, this hit me differently. I (and Matt too I suppose) am going to be responsible for another human being. They will call me mama. Or mommy. Or mom. Or hey you. I'm sure I'm going to be called lots of things in my life, hopefully mostly good but probably some bad in there too.

Having owned animals since I myself was in utero, I'm used to taking care of things. The only times in my entire life that I did not have a dog for a long period of time were my freshman year of college, but that changed as soon as I got back to UT for the summer, and when we left Joey behind our first 6 months in Cyprus.  That was brutal. BUT, I was helping at the riding stables so I was still caring for animals! See what I mean? This was another part of my epiphany:

 

I take care of others

Now I don't mean that in a some self-righteous sort of way. But I think about my days, past and present, and what have they mainly been filled with? Caring for something or someone other than myself. Sure taking care of the horses benefits me because then I can ride them.  But I also enjoy, for the most part (not in snow and cold!), taking care of them.  I love to groom, feed, and just hang out with them.  The dogs too.  They don't like to be brushed as much but to play with them is great fun! I take care of our home (albeit I'm not Suzy homemaker most of the time) and I take care of Matt (in the sense that I make him food and do his laundry and love him.)

So having a baby is just one step above that right? Or maybe 18 steps above. Constant 24/7 care will be needed for a significant amount of time, unlike the animals. I realize I can't stick Critter in a kennel, tell it to be quiet, and leave for a few hours. They'll have to be with one of us, at all times, for years.  Or with someone we can trust. It won't just be the two of us, it'll be the three.  2 adults and 1 child is what we'll say at restaurants in the very near future. Until they can go for a sleepover with someone, we'll won't be alone, FOR YEARS. As you can see, I'm freaking out, I mean, digressing.....

The funny thing is, moms to be apparently have different epiphanies at different times that, from the outside, people are saying, well, DUH!!!! I was telling someone (who is also preggo, due a little before me) about my thoughts and they said their's was the baby will have to come out at some point.  They said they were good with being pregnant, they are one who LOVES it and has already signed up for round two. But they hadn't really thought about the baby coming out, until recently. They are due in a little over a month. Part of me wanted to go:



But that wouldn't have been fair by any means. I mean, I've just realized that I'm going to be a mother. Please see above image for an appropriate reaction.

God Bless Matt. His response to me coming home and having a mini tirade on him was, "We're going to be great parents. Don't worry-it's going to be fine." I have NO doubts that he's going to own it as a dad.  He'll be the perfect mixture of love, aloofness, protection, freedom, and guidance. Me, on the other hand. I shutter to think.  I feel like I will vacillate between super happy and uncontrollable crying/rage for quite some time. Here is your visual:

and

and

DISCLAIMER: I know this is Kim Kardashian but I feel that she is who I actually most look like when I'm crying-I was going for realism in this one.  Normally I would NEVER NEVER NEVER use a photo of one of them on my blog. But it just made me laugh. 

At the end of it all, I know we'll be ok. The Lord will guide us and we have so much love and support around us now that I think we'll be ok.  This is a time in which I think it's a good thing that most of our family is 10 minutes away-if I call and all you hear is screeching, come quickly.